International Womens Day | My sister

There are a million women in the world that should be celebrated not just on one day a year but all year round and recognized for their achievements, talents, strengths and hard work. 

I've chosen to celebrate my sister, Michelle.

We've had several ups and downs, many clothes stealing moments, borrowing makeup, and hiding new pets from our parents... who found out anyway because we were getting along in the same room.

Her fashion sense was clearly rocking from the start and soon followed her discovery of her one true love... Pizza.

From make-believe in an old wedding dress to the real thing even though she swore she would never get married to anyone.

The holidays we always try to take but somehow end up being the only two talking to each other.

Seriously... it's happened like 3 times now we can't go anywhere!

Bringing another future strong woman into the world, during one of the toughest times we had gone through as a family she still managed to go through hell in the hospital and come out smiling with her baby girl.

There are so many strong moments, funny moments, character building events and more to mention in a single post. She knows what she has been through and she knows where she stands now. 

So to my sister Michelle, 

You annoy me

You make me laugh

I hate you 

I love you 

B x

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DIY Christmas decoration!

 There is just something about the smell of oranges, can't explain it but it's just got a festive feel to it. Few years ago me and my mum attempted to make our own Christmas decoration piece for the centre of the table and orange and cinnamon just has that festive look and feel to it.

Naturally with it being me and my mum alone in the kitchen... we burned the oranges... however our further attempts went so much better and a few people have asked me how I do them, so why not share!

So you need, two large oranges (or more depending on how many bowls you're going to have)
Cinnamon sticks
Kitchen roll/towel
Oven on at 80C
Bowl and some form of Extra decoration

One of the baking trays ready to go!

Bowl prepped with candle and some festive decor!

They are super simple to make,  slice up the oranges into thin slices and lay them out on some kitchen towel to absorb any juice. I leave them to drain there for a while, and put an extra layer of towel on top to cover both sides.

Once most of the juices have drained, put them on a baking tray and put them in the oven on a low heat, around 80c, for around 2-3 hours. Keep checking around the end time to ensure they aren't still juicy and soft, if they are you just have to leave them in the oven a tad longer! They need to be dried out and firm.

Once they are ready you just take them out and leave them to cool before putting them in the bowl. So the house will now smell of oranges because of the baking and once in the bowl everyday you will get this great smell of oranges and cinnamon. Soooo good!

Nice and easy, once everything is baked properly I arrange them in the bowl, this changes most years, sometimes I have plain pine cones in the bowl or maybe some with "snow" or Glitter on them. This year Andi found this nice decoration on a rope with snowy logs, cranberries and teeny pine cones so that is the decor of choice for this year! 

You can also keep them in a plastic box or ziplock bag to keep them fresh for the next year, personally I love doing the baking every year because it's a little tradition to do that I get exited about.

Hope you enjoy and give it a try!

B x

Tips for success

This is linked to the last post about Bloggers block and originally there was going to be a post or two between them. However this past month I lost my second rat Splinter after a bad health period for him. So instead of putting this post off, I decided it's best to just do it now. These are things that I've been told, or I've told others and thought they would probably be better all in one place. So here we go!

Stop snoozing!

Stop hitting the snooze button!

They say how you get up the morning or start the morning is how you are going to get through the day, so you snooze you lose basically. Just throw it against the wall and start the day with a bang...literally if you throw it hard enough!

Stop putting it off!

Stop waiting until the next day, the next month and so on. Exactly what or who are you waiting for? Go get it done! Procrastination doesn't help in anyway because you will regret it when you realise just how much you could have got done.

Don't be materialistic.

Be motivated by accomplishing something good, or intelligence and knowledge. Yeah OK money is good, it helps pays bills, keeps us fed and warm in a home. It's not all there is in your success though, owning fancy cars or big houses is nice I'm sure, but that's not all there is in your life.

Get off your butt!

Heard someone say this on the train to work "aw i should really get ***** sorted out but I can't be bothered and would rather watch TV" Failed already! Being lazy is great when you actually have nothing to do and can relax, but you won't get anywhere with anything if you don't actually do it. So get off the couch or where ever it is you're being lazy, you know you've got stuff to handle like a boss!

Accept the failures.

Don't panic if you fail, turn it into a funny story or take what you learn from it and step it up on your next go. Don't give up because one chance didn't work out, just keep moving forward.

Don't be silent!

Say you need help! You can miss a lot by just not saying anything, say you are looking for work or say you need help to get your promotion and prove why you should! All anyone can say is no to you and the opposite of that could lead to something good for you.

Celebrate others success.

 Other peoples success is not your failure, jealousy is an absolute sneaky bitch that way. Focus on your own efforts and then it will be you with the success, don't let someones goals make you feel like your goals aren't worth trying for.

Focus on you!

Do it for you. You can't make everyone happy, you would be surprised how many people try to keep everyone happy and then end up miserable in the process. You don't need to be selfish or a jerk about it, but just know when you need to step back and work on you and your happiness.

The bottom line.

Don't give up. The world doesn't owe you anything, not a single damn thing. So go out there and work your ass off and make things happen instead of waiting. 

---------

I've seen a lot of people, myself included, do some if not all of these things. There is a reason some sayings are cliches and it's because they are truth and that is why they are forever quoted, because they work. I've been doing these and accomplished many goals whether they are big or small, and clearly wouldn't have done it if I had sat around on my butt. Success doesn't mean the same to everyone, for some it is that high ranking and well paid job, for some it's recognition for their hard work, for others it's just self improvement. No matter what the goal is, the success will never be reached without working for it.

B x

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Tips for bloggers block

Brain? totally fried. Blank screen? totally mocking you. Mind isn't just wandering it's just up and left and went on holiday and left you behind.

Ok so, the tips I have for having this kind of block has been tried and tested by myself many times and they do work for me. I've told some friends who write books/lyrics the same tips and most of them say they did find them quite helpful or it led them to finding their own way to unblock, which is just wonderful.

so.. Lets begin:

Swear and scream

Swear like an angry trucker. I mean it, you just get up and start ranting and raving like an absolute maniac, yelling, swearing and waving your arms around, you just go full on crazy!

.... uh in your own home, not like in public ok? good.

I've found just ranting about something, anything ends up leading to a proper outlet about something that had been bothering you or blocking you that you might not have even known about, it's a weird feeling to finally be done with your rant and you then suddenly know exactly what you want/need to say. Weird, but a very freeing feeling. 

Kicking it old style

Get away from technology, I've said this to a few people and the response has been "but I need it to write" oh hell no you don't! thousands of stories have been written without computers, typewriters, phones, ipads (you see where i am going?) One thing that has worked well for me is to switch everything off, sit with a piece of paper and a pen near me and just relax with a cup of tea or maybe a book. A break from everything electrical can actually do wonders for your mind. 

One of my many tea breaks

Stop analysing and planning!

Don't plan your posts, sure writing down ideas of posts you would like to do is helpful but don't sit there analysing every single word you will say. I have a small notebook I take everywhere with me and it's filled with scribbles and doodles and somewhere in that mess there is ideas like a full skin care post or a challenge like "how much is my face worth" but they are barely sentences, just enough to jog my memory so I'm not locked into the exact sentence I've wrote and can let my mind go free.

Start networking.

Read other blogs, don't be that one dick blogger that doesn't get involved or interested in other peoples work but expect everyone to like yours, just don't be that one. Other bloggers styles of writing open up a lot of ideas, it can trigger thoughts that have nothing to do with their particular post at all, it's the same as reading a novel, the more you read the more you will think.

It's social networking you can make loads of friends with blogs and do collaborations with them or even just have someone who understands what it's like to be looking at that blank screen and you can bounce ideas off each other. Circling back to the "don't be a dick" thing... give the credit where it's due, if someone has inspired your post, link them/tag them or what ever is needed.

Out and about.

Try changing the environment, cafe, book store, museum, library, friends house, different room in the house (no one needs to know you blog in the bathtub!) You don't even need to go with the idea of writing, you could just for a walk for some fresh air, find a new place to relax in. Feel free to take your tablet, ipad or notebook with you just in case though!

My place is definitely anywhere near the sea

These are just tips that work for me and I've found that worked for some of my friends. Also for a full hour before this post, I was staring at my screen with a notepad filled with ideas and nothing was coming to mind or nothing was really inspiring me to write. That my friends, is how this fairly long blog post came about, I used my tips for unblocking and in the middle came the idea of... "other people have this problem, let's just write about that"

So there we have it, I'd love to know your tips for getting your mind going and fingers typing. Leave me a comment, never know when a new tip might come in handy!

B x

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To lose a pet

Been spending most of my time caring for my poor rat Shredder, he had an operation back in February and he was doing so well until a nasty cancerous lump appeared and then another smaller one. 

So most forms of my social media presence has been slim to none really.

Few days ago I had to make the gut wrenching choice to put him down. I always have two sections of my heart battling it out, logic and emotion.

Logically, it was the right and smart thing to do. He would have suffered and been in pain and possibly starved due to the pain and being so uncomfortable and god knows what else and it was the best choice for him.

Emotionally, it broke my heart because I wanted to keep him alive, I wanted to be selfish and keep him with me. I loved his rat kisses and cuddles and how he would always sit back on his hind legs and hold his paws out for a treat and would steal my carrots. 

My emotions run high at all times, especially when it comes to all animals whether they are in my family or not. I couldn't actually say the words to the vet, I just couldn't bring myself to say the words and thankfully the vet knew my choice and didn't force me to say it. 

I will always love this little mischief maker, his brother shows awful signs of missing him too.

15/12/2014 - 15/04/2016

B x

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My radio silence

I haven't posted anything since 8th of Nov, the reason for that is that a week later I lost my mum. 

I haven't felt like blogging, talking or even being awake, I have barely cried and the two times I did cry for more than a minute was when my dad hugged me and when Andi came down to console me. The safest I feel is with those men and it's the only time I cried. 

I don't mean for that to sound heartless but the only way I can explain it is a sensation of numbness except for those times.

My mum raised me to accept my emotions and not suppress them and not be ashamed of expressing them, so did her sister ( my aunt) Lynn. What I saw from dad was to be stoic and not complain about things that be can't be changed even though they really hurt. So I accepted what I could not change and I showed emotions when I had them, it's only now after spending yesterday with most of my family that I felt like posting something before getting back to my normal blogging or as normal as it can be. 

Yesterday I was spoiled and thankful for that, but what I loved most was being around family, laughing, hugging, talking and seeing others enjoy the day. Once back home I was luckier still to create dinner with my dad for my Uncle Paul, Julie and their baby Niamh, my Nana and Andi. Spent the whole evening with them with more jokes and laughing, not a single sad face. 

Then curling up on the sofa with Andi watching Firefly with my dad after playing board games. If anyone is grieving for any reason (which I honestly hope no one is) then be sad, be angry, cry if you feel like it and laugh hysterically if you don't know what else to do. Be with everyone you possibly can because in all my years of having depression, nothing has pulled me back faster than what my family has done for me recently. 

We are all caring for each other, we are all being strong for each other, but not of one us will know just how much it's helping the other. This family has had a rough time between my mum passing and family members being diagnosed with things that are just awful, but we never whine, we get up and fight where we can and be together when we can't fight. 

So this is my explanation but not an apology for my silence and a small reminder to my family that we are braver than we think. 

Mum, Paul and Lynn 

This is my mum and her siblings, never without a rush top on ever! The day my uncle announced that he was "effing blessed" 

If any of this has reached you in anyway, or even just if you have a big heart, any small donation to Epilepsy Scotland would be amazing, it was unfortunately this that took my mum because of something called SUDEP that no one can explain or stop. This isn't a plea, this is merely a hopeful "if you can, great. If you can't, thank you for reading" 

B x

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It's about time!

After a good few months of having the worst luck with most things. Finally have a few good things happening. In the past week it's been lovely Nalas birthday. 

Just look at the gorgeous little pups face! She turned 4 this year and the day before her birthday I got a call to say I finally have a job. Temporary admin job for 2 months and I can't wait to start working again! All thanks to my friend Liza for helping me get it too. 

Today itself is also a good day as it's one year since I got together with Andi. Although he is at home really sick at the moment, it's still a good day and still very lucky and happy to have had him this past year with more to come. 

There is literally nothing helpful in this post... just me having a wee ramble about things finally taking a turn to the better for once with situations. I've also had family staying here over a long weekend, which is a good thing since they live in wales so don't really get to see them as often as I'd like to. Even though my shower is now broken... it's still be a good weekend. 

On top of all these lovely things happening, myself and Andi got two new editions to our little fur family. 

Front and centre is Splinter, who is a complete daddies boy and loves Andi to pieces and isn't too fond of me yet, he comes up for treats and is a good boy but doesn't like me petting him, only Andi is allowed to do that, if i try he has a little nibble and then shoves all his bedding out the cage!

The little one at the back is Shredder,see a theme here... splinter ... shredder.. ninja turtles?? no? OK moving on! So shredder is a mummies boy, he loves snuggling me and getting petted and only comes up to the cage door when I call him, he's never bit Andi he just prefers it when I'm the one handling him. So they've each chosen a human that they prefer which makes it a lot easier in all honesty when it comes to handling them and helping them to stop being so scared. They are 8 months old and as a timid as they would have been coming out of a pet shop when they were babies. 

I adopted them from a woman who knows my friend and to my knowledge they have never been handled, hence the timid behaviour and occasionally they are pretty scared of random noises, but they are getting much better. 

So that' s basically it for a really random update. Birthday, anniversary, new job, family visiting and rat babies! 

B x